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Well, maybe not quite the sticks of Wales, but it came pretty close. I was in the Vale of Glamorgan in the South of Wales. Pretty. But I didn't really get to see near as much of Wales as I would have like to. Reason: transport! I was working during the week when transport was fairly regular; Saturdays - taking a lie in into consideration - got the 50min bus ride into Cardiff and saw the city in parts, Sundays - well, Sundays the bus only comes every two hours! Not conducive to doing much of anything. the rest is continued in the link below

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haaaa haai almal.. eish i havent written a blog in so long.. iv ben busy getting my life in order. but nevermind... i went to the pool in ext 8 last week and damm dont i have opinon....

this girla comes out of the pool, strutting her best pose an all.. but she got lyn. she sommer strips herself kal infromt of everyone.. i wanted to throw her back in the pool but thats just her business. the point to this storry is that coloured women are loosing so much of self respect all beacuse wee think the things we do impress the men.. neeeeeyyy it dont work like that. first of all no man is worth making yourself a fool for. the only satifaction he gets form you making yourself an idiot is the joy of knowing he has t he power over you...so i compliled some tips for the coloured women... i hope you vang these tips and stop making yourself a poes over a man..

 tip one:

Never go to a guy ant tell him you like him... thats just a wrong.. let him come to you. if he really wants you he will work for it.. maintain eye contact and if his not looking back at you the move on girla dont force an issue..

 

tip two

los die getroued mane uit.. they will never love you the way you want them to.. theu married. you not.. if he tells you his going to lave his wife and you believe then jys a vokken dom b!itch. HE WILL NEVER..

Tip 3

if your current bf cheats on you and you still take him back. You are DOMM . he will do agen coz heknows you will take him back..DONT LET A MAN HAVE POWER OVER YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM. girlas have so mauch potential but we just let men have thier way..WHY??? then you wanna go complian to you friends and family but you still eduring his kak.....eisssshh beats me

tip 4

if a guy calls you on the street. dont turn back instantly.. make him work hard if he really wants that. dont just be all smiles and thing.. once a man sees a smile and once you give him that flirtaious laugh he thinks his "INGEDRUK".

tip 5

never let him know your whole life stories and all your tales n stuff unless you know his the one..coz im telling you a man will hold your history against you when you dump him

tip 5

DONT BE A VOKKEN GOLD DIGGER THATS JUST MAKING ALL OF US LOOK BAD!!!!

Dont get it twisted. I like men.. im just to smart for them.....

 corrygee (straight4wardCRAZYb!tch)

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Today is the day after I made the fourth and final attempt at ditching my ex. He took it well last night, no threats of suicide or volcanic vitriol spewing forth as yet - that was until a few seconds ago.  Text after text - i want to difflect the pain.   How can he still have this effect on me.
 
He accuses me of so many things - the fact that i have being trying to brake up with him seems to elude him and his slow dissent into self comforting self pity has kicked in.  I have switched off my phone.  I am writing to you instead.
 
Last week I saw a friend of mine and he said a very hurtful thing, i pretended not to care, i smiled, nodded and ate my malva pudding with egg yellow custard intensely wishing to fade into the background of the grande gramadoelas backdrop, occasionally polished like the ancient rice and copper bowls on display, then left forgotten, eavesdropping on the millions of conversations taking place over months of mediocre meals.
 
He said that at some point two years ago i was "droning" on about my personal life too much. He says I have grown since.  He seemed pleased to announce.  I am much more interesting company, especially now I am quieter - and all this time I thought we were just having a conversation - he asked me how I was - i would tell him - Sorry - Jo - I wanted to say.  I didn't mean to drone. I meant to scream.  Perhaps I should have.
 
I mean to tear the flesh from my face and expose the raw and ugly part of me, that part that even he - my friend wished not to see. Funny - when he "drones" on and on about his family, Latin wife, 2 young kids, his past escapades - his conquests i sit quietly and listen.  He romanticizes being colored, he jokes that in fact he is a brown man trapped in a white body.  A part of me escaped momentarily and slapped him on the spiritual plane.  I cant stand when people say stupid shit like that.
 
He is 70 years old and makes movies, his family worked closely with Barnato's, old money, lots of money.  I told him that being colored is not all tra-li-la-li-la, that Taliep and Soli and now Mark and Jo Barber has f*cked us sideways while we are smiling, the voice over "artists" for ads about being simba chippies and domestos thick bleach, that we are teenage pregnancies, fetal alcohol syndrome and domestic violence, tik and straight hair, we are kombuis Afrikaans and kombuis Engel's, blue lead based paint and grandmothers tears, we are angry, we are poor and we are fed up of being muffled, stifled and colorful coons. 
 
I asked him why he was doing what he was doing, he said he felt guilty.  That is family fortune had been made on the backs of slaves in mines - those same slaves are his friends now he dips his toe in their worlds and it curls with delight when he gets to say k*ffir or jou ma se p**s to a brown or black person and then he retreats to the safety of the burbs, kids in private school Pilates and pony lessons as soon as shit get too real, i thanked him for his honesty and said i shall be seeing less of him, in my mind of course - I am much too wimpish to say it out loud.  What other people think of me still matters - for some bizarre reason  - he showed me where he was born and grew up, a fairy tale house even Hansel and Gretel would have envied. I would have turned green with envy but how do you envy something so unattainable.
 
I still feel like crying - no screaming - i dont know what sound will come out - what word the scream's shape would take. If i could cry right now I would, guttural sounding tears for no good reason, tears of relief perhaps, tears acknowledging the stress I have been under since last June. Tears because its almost over and yet I know its not yet begun.  Tears because they can fall silently over my cheeks, the tracks are so familiar they congregate in my neck, cold and damp like that walk from school when he said I could not go anymore. Aaaargh.  I dont fucking eat Simba chips anymore!

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"Sy is myne...jy kan gaan maar Jasmine bly net hierso." Die vasbelsotenheid in haar pa se stem gaan Eva nie verby nie.

 

"Daddy, ek kan mos nie dit doen..." begin sy teepraat, sy is na aan trane maar sy sal moet probeer om hom te laat verstaan hy vra die onmoontlike nou, dis malligheid.

 

Haar pa onderbreek haar onbeskof, die satyn handskoen is af, hy is `n vuurvreter reg om te verteer wat in sy pad staan.

 

"Kyk hier Eva, laat ek en jy nou mekaar mooi verstaan, en maak oop daai ore sodat jy mooi kan hoor"...hy vat twee tree nader aan haar, dreigend gluur hy haar aan, sy voel sy warm asem op haar gesig ..."Die kind gaan nerens saam met jou nie, jy wil mos nou na Sodom en Gomorra gaan, asb laat ons jou nie ophou nie, vat  jou goed en laat jy waai, maar los my kind net hier. Wat dink jy beteken dit om `n kind groot te maak huh, het jy enige benul wat dit behels?" Hy wag nie vir `n antwoord nie, maar antwoord self sy vraag.

 

"Dit vat opoffering meisiekind, opoffering, `n woord wat jy nie verstaan nie. Jy is te selfsugtig om dit te kan verstaan. Watse huis sal jy vir die kind kan bied, kom se my gou...?"Hy wag weereens nie vir `n antwoord nie, maar gluur haar woedend aan. Haar pa is nou op volle stoom, daar is geen keer aan die wilde hings nie, hy is op sy perdtjie en behoed en bewaar die persoon wat hom nou in die rede val. Eva se trane dreig dreig om te val, maar sy sluk die groot golfballe in haar keel, vandag is daar geen tyd vir trane nie, sy sal moet sterk wees, sy moet hom laat insien, sy sal net moet...

 

"`n Kind nodig `n huis Eva, `n huis wat `n pa en ma het, waar daar kos op die tafel is, waar daar standvastigheid is, kan jy dit vir Jasmine gee, kom se my nou, kan jy nou eerlikwaar hier staan en my laat verstaan dat jy vir Jasmine `n huis kan gee, `n toekoms...my magtiegie man, jy het geen idee wat dit kos om `n kind groot te maak nie." Haar pa snork verontwaardig, hy stap terug na sy sitplek, sak terug in sy stoel, net om weer op te staan en haar stip aan te kyk.

 

"Kom, ek gaan dit maklik maak vir jou Eva, ek gaan dit sommer baie maklik maak vir jou...ons nodig niks van jou nie, niks, jy het geen verantwoordelikheid teenoor Jasmine nie. Beskou haar as afgehandel, `n blaps wat jy begaan het, en nou kan jy weer die stukke van jou lewe, of wat nog daarvan oor is, bymekaar lap...ek en jou ma gee jou `n kans om weer oor te begin, asof die nooit gebeur het nie. Nie baie mense kry so `n kans nie, nie baie meisiekinders wat oor die tou getrap het kry die geleentheid om vry te wees nie...jy is gelukkig Eva, want ons gee jou nou daai geleentheid met `n ope hart, gaan en doen wat jy moet met jou lewe, gaan maak  net soos jy lus het, ek gee rerig nie om wat jy doen nie, maar Jasmine is myne, sy het `n huis nou en sy het `n ma en pa, so as jy loop, loop jy alleen."

 

Dit word eens te veel vir Eva, al die sluk in die wereld kan die snukke wat volg nie keer nie. Golwe en golwe van seer, elke asem `n pynigende steek, haar binneste voel rou en oop, sy probeer praat maar daar is geen klank wat uit haar mond kan kom.Net droe snukke van iewers diep in haar binneste, haar liggaam rukkend,pleitend,stukkend, sy is besig om dood te gaan, kan hulle nie sien, sy gaan dit nie maak nie. Stop die pyn, asb stop die pyn, my liggaam is te klein vir soveel pyn, hoe kan sy dit weerstand...

 

Haar ma staan op van haar sitplek, en gooi haar arms om haar, haar oe nat van sag huil.

 

"Shs,shs...is OK Eva, is OK...shs, shs nou, alles gaan OK wees, shsss .." se haar ma sag. Haar stem bewerig en tog agter die sagte woorde soveel krag, soveel sekerheid, kan dit veilig wees om haar ma nou te glo?

 

Die snukke wil nie ophou nie, sy slaan haar vuis teen haar hart om te probeer wys, haar hart is besig om in te gee, sy probeer weer praat, maar dis asof haar stem gesteel is van haar. Hoe gaan sy hulle laat verstaan sy is besig om dood te gaan, fisies dood te gaan, haar hele liggaam is in spasmas, een pynende steek na die ander, haar keel heeltemal toegetrek, haar hart dood,koud,ongenaakbaar,dit weier om nuwe bloed deur haar are te stuur, haar binneste rou, asof wat binne is buite wys, `n trui aan die verkeerde kant. Help tog iemand, help my, die pyn is ondraagbaar.

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Today I feel ten. I feel weightless and light.  Today is the day i feared for ever. Today is the day i cut the ties.  Today I am going to embrace being detached, I will make no attempt to connect.  Not today and not with anyone.

I will not smile or eat, I will not f*ck or sleep but I will float.  Drift wood.

When oh when will it all be over, I have been waking up with this thought for a while now.  The problem with following this train of thought through the tunnel is that the destination might be a little too freaky to share with anyone.  So often I stop myself from trying to think it through.  Do you ever sensor your thoughts?

  Say you know you are fat, right, but you know that if you dont ever think of yourself as fat then somehow you are not that fat....or lets say you are a really mediocre person, no ambition no drive, no nothing, and the scariest thing is you admitting this to yourself and realising that you dont care and probably wont ever do anything about it.   It's like that with this thought.  When will it all be over, when is it going to stop, when will things become easy, like pancakes and golden syrup easy.  Nothing fussy about that right.  I would rather connect with a pancake than anyone right now.

You know - i dont even know why i am mad...things have improved on the love lust front - work situation seems to have settled, then why this discontent?  I dont understand.  Why do I feel like I want to scream or slam doors, why am I waking up wanting to cry because i woke up, because i want to remain there in that place, i am chasing a dream and I am wide awake.  I am looking for an answer but I am underwater and all the sounds are muffled.  I am not saying the answer is not out there, but i just cant hear it. You know - I cant make sense of it and I dont think its god!

Whenever I extend myself beyond myself - and reach out to another, virtual or real I am always left feeling misunderstood somehow.  They just dont get it.  It is me.  Its not you, you are great - it's me.  Really.  Bla Bla Bla - say something nice quick - divert attention, anything to be accepted.  How much the internet feels like high school - clicks have replaced cliques...but a click is a click!  The popular wholesome girl next door, the lovers, the fighters, the haters and the hiders.  Hiding behind names that make sense only to them selves. Hiding behind avatars, perhaps bearing a resemblance of who they wish to be...one thing you wont find here and I never found it at high school either - is the truth. the gory truth. why go through the trouble of creating another identity only to laden it with your own predjudices and preferences... 

The truth is far uglier than you realise.  The person in the mirror is a mock up.  The real thing is still on its way.  That word potential has haunted you from the beginning. You hate it so much.  I just dont get it do I.  The most painful realisation is that it actually doesn't matter whether you get it or not, its neither here nor there, its neither a deal maker or breaker.  The deal has gone off.  

I looked at a bunch of girls the other day, they seemed sweet charming, funny and intelligent. They were having fun-a-flirting and there was I - sitting and scribbling.  My notepad for company and wine on tap.  They looked over at me once or twice, what an oddity, they must have thought.  I had to struggle to stay, struggle to be calm and uninfluenced but it was hard.  My eyes betray me.

I came into this world alone and alone I shall depart - some people find the journey from alone to alone a joyus one - for me its torture. Alone is my natural state. My thoughts - my feelings - my loves and hates - uncontested.  All this connecting in the middle is where the shit starts to happen.  Oh damn - I have a date tonight, lol, can you imagine my company.  I need a drink.

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So I am sitting in some hotel room in the middle of nowhere. Waiting for something to happen. I know that the cult of the unwritten book was still active in the area. That morning, everyone in the city had forgotten his or her telephone number for 15 minutes. That's 1 of the signs. So I had filled the  room with clocks, dozens of clocks. The ticking was driving me absolutely insane. But I needed some kind of early warning, in case the cult decided to drop in unexpectedly. It was a calculated risk of course. Some cult assassins travel via clocks. The door of the hours they call it. I decided it was time for another drink. If I had to face the cult, I want to be completely wrecked 1st. That's when I smelled Parma violets. Which left me with 1 persistent and irritating question, where was the book of the 5th window? I needed help. But 1st another drink seemed like a brilliant idea, I wanted to get really smashed. When the statues in the park across the road began to giggle and whisper like naughty children, I knew it was time to move out. Every day the human body loses 10 billion skin scales. Have you ever wondered what happens to all that dead skin? It does not just vanish, you know. Cult agents collect it. They also collect all the old love letters people throw away when love turns sour. Look, who are you? How did you get in here? Me? I am very big in the world of International Strangeness, and if you have not heard of me, then you are obviously not reading the right material. Because the cult of the unwritten book is, at this very moment in pursuit of the 5th window, if they get it, they will summon the unmaker and it will mean the end.

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Perfumed air and light on the leaves. Light falling like snow, like chamber music. Light as snow. From the street, the sound of great engines, of shining factories in untiring labor. The clashing, violent music of ceaseless traffic and distant thunder of vast aircraft in smoke filled skies. The sizzle and shock of molecular motion. Hammers and pistons and strobing rays, multiplying images of velocity. Time becomes space. Electricity sings in the power lines. This multicoloured polyphonic city. Economy, utility, engineering precision, function, expediency, spatial construction, sound, stressed metal. The sound a key makes when hovering. The beautiful landscape of naked amnesia. Suntanning on a haunted beach. The voice of a melancholic spirit. Disorienting? Is it not?  Hard to (Oh don't be such a) think (bully). Shut up in there! Your thoughts (creep) are all surrealist images. You (Listen, are we ever going to get out of here?) are starting to irritate me.  Shut up! You can't ( I only asked) concentrate, can you? You just don't (I  think he's) know what ( asking a perfectly reasonable) to do next (question.) Will you all be  quiet! I am trying to,(creep) I am trying to be menacing here. There is nowhere to run. (Nowhere to run! What a cliche) I am going to write you( Oh, not another one!) off. Don't you feel (Is'nt it) like you are running in a dream? You get slower and (crowded enough) slower, no matter how hard you try.(in here?)

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Deer Ammom

I hop you don mind, I diktated this letr to Dubya(G.W.Bush) to writ cos his hanriting is muc betr then mein.

I no yo a in heer to reed this but enyho heer it is. Yor my Ammom an I lov yo(evn tho yo ra awy with that Rintokel gyu) but I am ritin this to prov yo olwas did tok crap. Yo use to tell me I wodnt evr mak it big. Yo spen to much time at the moovis yo use to say. To much imajinashion an no street sins, yo liv in a world uv yo own yo sed. An wen I tol yo I was gon be kign uv the wurld sum day, yo jus sed yo lern to ty yor sholases befor yo think abot been kign uv the wurld. Well Ammom yo nevir had me proply ejacated an I stil cant ty my sholases but I hop you laffin on the other sid uv yor fass now, Ammom. Cos I did it. It's all min! I did it! Top o' the world Ma! Top o' the world. Sins I tuk ovr, thigns have ben much mor fun. Evrything brit an new an its ol for free. I lik mornin best. Mornins wen the Bathoven burds fly down sqwakin for food. I mosly fed tham musicl nots. They eat the nots an tern tham into buotiful music. The sky is fool uv buotiful music all the tim. Its a buotiful wurld Ammom. Yod be reel prod uv me thas for shur. Enyho this is the stoyr uv ho I got the wurld in the furs plass. Wy don I jus start at the end an see wer we get from ther? Its gettin pritty excitin now huh?Ammom. I bet yo cant nevir guess what happind nex. Well, nobudy tol me the wurld wus such a big problim. I neva figired things cud be so bed. It lok lik weed need sum help.  Evrybody thot therd be a big fite if i wun, but it didnt tern out thet way atoll. Its probly juss as well. I aint much good at fitin, evin sins I git Sonetar powrs. I am goin to fixd the wurld lik it havnt evir bin brock. Sum peeple wer reel pissd becos I wun, udders wer heppy an sed I hed cum to sav em. Ha? Servs em riht. I en goin to brot em to anuthir levl. This is the Simbolis levil(Symbolis is a kin of art whic ida nevir non abot excep fo Milleche seen as how yo didn hav me ejacated Ammom) Enyho. An so wer bak at the end wer we started. An so I reech the end of my stoyr, Ammom. I fond the hol wurld in a reel mess. I don no wat happind to the muney, its all gon. Enyho its beter sins I get to rebilt it or finis it off. They sey they will keeps evryting kleen, as lon as I am in charge of doin nuthin, I get to be kign uv the hol the hol thign. An I don ned ejacatin to do it. Ol it taks is sens an smartnes wich I got plenyt uv. Ye, its reel gud heer, its much betr ten the ol wurld thas fo shur. Nowon tels yo wat to do. Ol my freins are heer, I em lernin mor an mor eech dey. An I em hapyer then I evr ben, in a wurld uv mi own.

Sined your luvin sun

Bakacr

ps. The sistrhud of DADA tawt mi wel. I don only du it mishinary posishun anymor.

DADA: A movment in art an litratur basd on debilaret irrrattionality an negation of tradishinal atistic valus, awlso the art an litratur prodused by thes movment. 

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As much as I would like to take credit for this, I unfortunately cannot, as it is for real. You are welcome to phone the numbers provided to confirm. Please note the spelling and wording are NOT mine. I have copied it verbatim from his flyer.

Professor Mamba, hailed as the  Herbalist of the year in 2005 and 2006, consecutively, has opened up in Centurion, city of Tshwane. He is an Astrologer, Herbalist, Healer and Researcher. He is the proud winner of the Eastern Africa Herbalist Control Council Award for a Life-time Achievement in Astrology&Herbal Healing.

His Specialtities include, but are not limited to:

Read & tell ALL your problems before you mention them to him.Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time.Remove bad spells from homes, businesses etc. Ensure that promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career.Remove the black spot in your hand that keeps taking money away.Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution.Introducing(Mulondox)blend for enlarging the penis in both length and girth of the tissues and muscle thus increasing size. It naturally releases suspensory ligaments from the base of the testicles making it big and strong on a permanent basis with 100% erection capability.Ensure success as you get rich quickly.Eliminate in-family fights between children&parents,in-laws,husband,wife and ensure peace&harmony in home.Recover stolen property and trace the whereabouts of people that hurt you. Attract customers to your business and turn your trade into a favorite among clients.Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities.Guarantee that you are loved and trusted by your colleagues, husband,wife, in-laws, friends,etc.Quit alcohol,smoking, drugs using purely herbal therapies with no side effects.Get you married to that lover of your life in a short time and seal up yourr marriage with eternal love and happiness. Heal women problems of barrenness, disturbing menstruation, abnormally long pregnancies, etc.Ensure that a single person gets a partner in shortest time.Bring supernatural luck into your life to win chance games like lotto, Casino dice, black jack, machines etc.Bring you to see your enemies and make demands on them using a mirror.(ALL THESE CHALLENGES CAN BE OVERCOME IN 5 DAYS) Stop suffering in silence rush to get that help you need. If not you, do it for your loved one. Confidential guaranteed. Consultation R100.00. All whites,blacks,coloured,etc.welcome.Cnr Lenchen South&John Vorster drive, Centurion, Tshwane.012 6639308/0715350689

I rest my case. And we wonder why we have a xenophobia problem.

 

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Action, intrigue, battles,  feuds,disputes, heartache, insults,comedy, sophisticated suspense,sex,treachery,violence,love,religion,sorrow,heartbreak, you name it, it has it all. Tune in daily for the latest blockbuster. Please note names have been changed to protect the guilty.

The Gloom patrols image as a group of outsiders who could not fit into society's definition of normal is set. And their foes give new meaning to the word weird. What prevents it from going too far over the edge, nobody knows, not Mr Nobody though, as he is a character of note. He has been through alot, but acts as normal as could be. The Scissorman perhaps is the most normal one of the group, but Mr Nobody always seems to end up in the centre of the storm, with quite a bit of help from himself. And if butterflies in Patagonia are the cause of storms in Asia, how do things interrelate with each other? With foes such as Blackjack and the Nameless 1 appearing, one has to question the make up of reality. Credit must be given to the Foreigner, Mrs Palm and I.P.Freely for making these other forms of reality appear to exist.Plus they give the various members of the Gloom patrol a clean,sharp look. The titles stand out, alerting the reader that there will be action inside. I hope the current look for the Gloom patrol continues to dance along the edge of things. Having a dialogue that makes you think after you are done reading the words is a wonderful thing. A bunch of literate, intelligent and unquestionably brilliant, although a bit overconfident individuals. Beavis, as 3 minds in 1, exhibits the brilliance 1 might expect, although all 3 minds seem remarkably left brained: cold, logical and rational. The Negentropic man is ever seeking to bring order to the chaos, he is well balanced. Crazy Jade with her 6 right brained personalities, all creative and emotional and intuitive to 1 degree or another is an enigma wrapped in a mystery. Strangely Animalman seems to be the 'regular guy' in the group, a sort of everyman, just along for the ride. This must be something of a shock for Mr Nobody, who was once the guiding light of the Gloom patrol. If Mr Nobody is somewhat left out in the cold with his most recent working partners, he has a couple of takers left who seem more able to come down to his level in Zarathustra and Gilgamesh. Still, he could use another not quite brilliant individual to play against. Animalman and Negentropic man have the ability to correctly interpret known facts, especially from a moralistic 'should do' perspective, but also a remarkably fresh view. I hope that it will remain fresh and original, full of surprises. The focus on the subjective nature of reality is marvelous to behold. Why is, who is, where is, how is, when is, what is, everything is scrutinised thoroughly. Reading these, the stars of the southern constellation trembling in the blue, immeasurable chambers of the heavens and silence and solitude prevailing as in some lofty cathedral. In such circumstances of repose and rest from the world's strife, my thoughts, suspiriosae cogitationes, are turned  naturally to the contemplation of the infinite mystery of God's creation. They discuss a great many things. These new perceptions, synaesthetic floods of ideas are a wonder to follow.

ps. Unfortunately, I am on a low budget and the only awards I can afford to sponsor are the following:

The bullets used in the assassinations of A.Lincoln, Kaiser Wilhelm,JFK,J.Lennon, M.L.King, Malcolm X, Che Guevara, C.Hani, Cliffy Brown, Leon Meyer, Tupac Shakur and Biggy Smalls, supposedly if placed under the tongue, they stimulate visions of the future.

I also have a range of keys that belonged to the various owners of a tv that you could watch broadcasts from hell on, that they had sharpened and used to slit their own throats with( the live broadcasts were obviously too hot to handle), which are rumoured to provide access to the dreams of virgins.

I only have 3 left of the infamous Dresden Madonna statue, which bleeds sour milk every 28 days.

Please send me your choice of award, 1st come 1st serve basis. Please note I only deliver to the Seven Capital cities of Heaven and the Sea of Tranquility.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of GOD. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of GOD that is within us. It's just not in some of us, it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciouly give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.- Nelson Mandela (1994 inauguration speech)

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Today this entry will be filled with great smiles and bear hugs, only fairtales will be proclaimed as this is a new day... Or maybe not!

 

I have never really been a big fan of any of the fairytales. I mean, I would also want to loose my ballet pump in the club and then have some mysterious stranger come searching for me in the dusty streets of Soweto or Eldo's or Ennerdale to sweep me off my feet. Chances are he is not going to find me in any of those places because as a modern chick I live in the burbs and as a modern chick why would I leave a 200 rand shoe there? Am I nuts? Hell no! Fairy God tannie will just have to wait with her pumpkin changing because you know I am going back! So yes as a child you do have this picture of what love is supposed to be like. I used to listen to my mom while we sat on our couch in Newclair and think to myself: " Wow, a pumpkin changing into a carriage... Now that is one cheap Fairy!" But non the less I saw myself as the princess and the somewhat cute kid from next door as the prince but like in fairytales reality soon kicks you in the behind. The prince turns out ot be a frog and you will kiss a few of those in your lifetime and you will give up on finding your Prince. Because lets be honest, your prince is not the handsome blonde guy on a white horse. He is flesh and blood and usually has a nagging mother right next to him or an over religious one or a meddling one, he has a baby momma, he has an attatude when you not in " the mood". Your prince is far from perfect my dear. Oh yes, he farts and burps and never puts the toilet seat down. Your prince is more like a Prince Non Charming but we love them non the less. Warts and all ( as he might have a few of those too) we try to see the beauty in them but some of them, not all, always seem to only show their bad side after time.

 

There is of course the odd one out who with all his faults you never ever notice the weird and whacky side of him. He actually pardons himself when he is being gross, the one who rubs your feet when you are pregnant and who tells you how amazing you are first thing in the morning when you armpits are smelly and your breath smells like old shoes. Those my friends are like rare gem stones in this world. I believe that it never happens like in the fairytale. It takes the kissing of more than one frog to find that Mr. Amper Right. It might take you the rest of your life but they are out there. Somewhere hiding from us because they know we are about to put our clutches in them and never let go.

 

Then of course there are my girls out there who cannot wait for Mr. Amper Right so they gather up a flock of men and make themselves a good man. Which I am not against at all. You go girl! You know the flock ladies, the rich, the gorgeous, the care taker, the minister of finance... the list goes on. Big ups to you because you have more sexual stamina than I do. Because that way you get 100% of love. You do, really because each one of them gives you what you want when you want it. Now of course some poeple would look down on this but why because at least those few lucky ladies are getting what they need and are not stuck on stupid like the rest of us. Now remember as a modern lady we are safe in our "activities" because we know what the dangers are. I am not going to get deep and speak about AIDS and STD's but they are a reality in this world so cover up when going out in the rain please divas. We are an eductaed generation of beauties and it should be reflecting in all we do, especially what we do when the lighyts go out and Marvin Gay is in the house and you are being taken to places you have never been before. Oh my! you are crawling up walls and speaking in tongues... Just be safe and remeber to keep the noise down. You do have neighbours after all.

 

Now, as I was saying... Fairytales. We won't find all that in life but we can make our own fairtales so do not set unrealistic goals for yourself. Just remember to love like you have never been hurt. But for teh ladies who do have those Mr. Amper Rights. Hold onto him girl! You know that there is another lady out there who sees in him what you see and if you don't see it in him, watch your back because someone worthy will snatch him up in time. It is the way of the world. Survival of the deepest soul as they say. Because what can be seen as one girls dark is another girls light and so on it will go. But what is not for you is for someone else. Some chicks actually can live with alot of abuse( there I go again being deep) and alot of pain for a long time and then there are those who put on those hills and get the stepping. But it is not for all of us and then we go through life feeling like a shadow. So not everyone gets their Happy Ending even though we would love one!

 

So there you have it, love is not the happy ending and not the glass slipper or in this case the 200 rand ballet pump being put on your foot in the end. It is more about knowing what you want in love and going after it. Whether it takes you months or years. Step out there knowing that you are a being of substance and demand that attention.

I am out of here once again so do yourself a favour this week. Buy yourself a pair of really expensive shoes or a jeans that says "WATCH OUT!" have cocktails with the girls and keep it real. Always remember to be you no matter what!

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I just found this e-mail in my box a little while ago.   I decided to publish it here for all of you in case you haven't seen it before.  I thought it was pretty funny, especially if you read it using  accents and inflection as the speakers would have.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? - Funny   Why did the chicken cross the road?       

  BARACK OBAMA:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a  change ! The chicken wanted  change !  

 JOHN MC CAIN:  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road...  

 SARAH PALIN:  Because   by golly, I was gonna shoot his sorry liberal ass for blocking my view of Russia!    

HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.  

 GEORGE W. BUSH:  We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.  

DICK CHENEY:  Where's my gun?  

 COLIN POWELL:  Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.  

 BILL CLINTON:  I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

  AL GORE:  I invented the chicken.  

JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.  

 AL SHARPTON:  Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.  

DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on  this  side of the road before it goes after the problem on the  other  side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.  

 OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he c an just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.  

 ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:  We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.  

NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he's  guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks .  

 PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.  

 MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.  

DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain, alone.  

JERRY FALWELL:  Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly ha harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.  

 GRANDPA:  In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.  

 BARBARA WALTERS:  Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.  

 ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.  

 JOHN LENNON:  Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.  

 BILL GATES:  I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.  

ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?  

COLONEL SANDERS:  Did I miss one?

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As I sit here tonight there are many things going through my mind. I was wondering to myself what I should put down on this blank piece of online paper and then it dawned on me, my feelings are the best thing. Now I write about love and most of all the things that we do or don't do in love but today I want to write about the things we want to do when inlove and what we seem to compremise when inlove.

 

We forget who we were before we met the people we let into our lives. We forget the things we used to do. Now I have said before that you should be good to you but how many of us actually do that? Not many and I can say that sometimes I too forget that being good to me comes first beforwe anything else. I get upset with myself because I just seem to let myself slide every now and again and then it takes a compliment from a complete stranger to make you realise that you truly are beautiful inside and out( YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT SO DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T) You walking through a mall and from the corner of your eye is this guy or gal just staring at you. Now you think that they are probably looking at the Gucci shades in the window of the shop behind you, so you brush your hair aside and smile... you know that shy smile you reserve for those odd drunk moments in a club when you trying to get the attetion of another drunk guy or gal. They smile back and it comes crashing down on you like cascading waves that... DAMN!!! He( or she) is actually looking right at me. So you smile that shy smile again and walk away still brushing your hair back. That is that rare moment when you realise that, wow, I am actually that cute to someone. But why? because you forgot that you are a being of substance and beauty and you still posses that look that demands attention. Now I am not saying that we all realise that but what I am saying is that a moment like that should slap you straight back to reality and make you realise that just because you are with someone doesn't mean you put those Nine West pumps way back in the closet and you hide that sexy little number... (you know the one you wore to your friend Deborahs cocktail party and that lawyer took your number?) No way no how!! As females we should realise that even though the one you are with doesn't appreciate your pink lipgloss or the way you cross your legs when you sipping on a martini, there is someone out there who sees you for the gorgeous, talented and briiliant being you are. And yes, sometimes we as females forget it but let me just say this... don't. you are too beautiful and too wonderful to let that getb you down. You're a diva in your own right. You demand respect and attention and don't ever forget that. So whether you are inlove, out of love or just what I call stuck on stupid( you know what it means by now) you still have a right to embrace that freak in you and step out with your best Aldo forward.

 

No one can take away that flame within you unless uyou let them. It is a command from the Gods who gave you that zest, that gorgeous body and that killer smile. It is a command that you be sexy, feel sexy and act sexy. Remember that the way you feel inside is how everyone sees you. So no matter how hard the love life gets remember to keep that chin up and step out with that smile that makes the guy at the coffee shop always want to give you extra sugar( free or not) You owe it to yourself to always keep it real. Be you no matter what the situation. They don't want to be change. The age old excuse is : You found me like this baby, why would you want to change me? Well toss him that same line the next time he asks you why you wearing something he thinks is too sexy.. I am just saying take back the power you possessed and if you didn't have that power then it is time you took it back now. Not only for you but for all of us! We are women in a generation where we wear the pants... Oh yes and the tie and the shirt so let us wear them with pride. I say this not only to you as my sistas and girls and cousins but I say this to myself to. Let us not sit back and wait for it to happen. Go out there and make it happen like never before. We are coming with hunder and whoever is outside when the storm hits better watch themselves!!!

 

So ladies, divas of this century. Keep yourself no matter what. Never loose your essence. Toss your toys out the cot, make a scene for bad service, buy shoes you know you cannot afford!!! Your a woman with style and vibe and let no one tell you any different. I will leave you with this:  "I am determined to always retain my mischievous inner youth"- Allison DuBois

 

That's it from me. Go and conquer!

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maybe I'll have better luck this time around...

 

 

I'm a major movie fiend

Mostly horror, animation

And lots of comedy, the story of my life!

Occasionally I dare the romantic ones

Like the one featuring Reese Witherspoon & Mark Ruffalo

‘Just Like...'

 

We all have our perceptions of what it would be like I guess

 

As a kid, I'd often asked my gran to elaborate on the concept

She was a wise woman, a very wise woman indeed...

She would answer, with no hesitation,

‘It's a place where everything is reversed'

That was her explanation and it satisfied my infantile mind...

Today, it's the only one I hold dear, the only one that makes sense

A ripened mind!

 

So when you picture it, what do you see?

Do you see yourself amongst those you did not get along with?

Those you ill-treated? Those beneath you?

No! You probably see yourself surrounded by those you favoured, and favoured you!

The ones always in agreement and the ones you cannot be without...

All the nice candy-coated things, that's the picture!

Smile, it's a once-off capture and it will be like this forever and ever and ever...

 

Tell you what I see:

I see myself amidst the ones who cared for me, the ones I cared for

The ones who shared with me,

A moment

A laugh

A memory

The ones who cried with me,

For a moment

In sadness, happiness

All the memories

The ones who took the punches with me,

Difficult moments

The shouts, the songs

Others blocked, lost in memory

The ones who loved me,

Momentarily, long-term

Through all trials and tribulations, morning and night

Constant replay of memories...

 

And if these people are not there, I don't think I wanna be there either!

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The pattern of constraints, self inflicted at the moment of birth, extracts the plexus of a man from the ocean of unbounded energy, consciousness knots itself around the living template. He dreams of self. He tries to understand. He invents authority figures. He tries to explain everything until the fear is gone. He dreams his own origin story. He dreams old men and tricksters, to explain everything that occurs outside his tiny awareness. Everything he is not permitted to know. Everything he is not permitted to see. Fanciful images to describe what cannot even be looked at. His awareness stands unmoving, feeling his illusions dissolve. We are all so stupid, so cut off from everything. Watched so many movies, cannot tell what is real. Isolated ourselves from the raw, wild, complex terror of existence. Lost our fear of God. So what do we have to do? Throw our tv's out the window? Set fire to our houses and learn to live in caves and trees? You want us to sacrifice our culture for survival in a world of mud,disease and misery? Human beings,reasoning animals, Lords of creation. You think you are tough, think you can laugh in the face of extinction. But people are good? They are beautiful and funny. They know about love and kindness and stuff. At least they do when they are born. They have to learn how to be stupid and vicious.    

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I sense shapes without substance, formless, presences that communicate ecstacy, coming together, condensing out of light. I see you, I see you across the open fields. We are so much alike, you and I. Your presence, unbounded light, the joy of your body, the air rich with your scent. The air of twilight, the time of rushing waters. Her fluid consciousness wraps easily around mine. She and I, we become the template, the animal itself and the animals ecstacy. We hiss and lunge, we don't want to be here. We want to be exposed, cut off from the concealment. We want to be free. So we heave and thrash against the burning line that tightens around us. Furiously grind helplessly, lash and spin, eyes rolling in madly abandoned rage, our constrained muscles screaming uselessly. We don't want to be here, but we cannot move. Our tormentors dart and circle nervously. We can feel their heat. smell their sour sweat of fear. A dreaming game, an identity game, a sexual game, a dangerous game, a game of me or a game you? Mysterious.

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I have conveniently listed for your perusal a list of career options available to become accomplished in. I have also kindly provided the language a specific option is in.

Indonesian- Nylentik, Didis, Latah, Desus

Hawaian- Pana Po'o, O ka la nokonoko, Kualanapuhi, Lomilomi, A'ama

Persian- Mahj,Ghalidan, Alghunjar

Japanese-Bakku-shan, Koro, Senzuri, Shiko shiko manzuri, Sokaiya

Chinese-Zheng Rong

Fuengian Chile- Mamihlapinatapei

Italian- Pomicone, Capoclaque, Smonta, Squadretta

Dutch- Queesting

 Ancient Persian- Buz-baz

Sanskrit-Narachastra prayola

Brazilian Portuguese-Sacanagem, Grilagem

Portuguese- Fucha

Russian-Koshatnik

Danish-Fyrassistent

Anglo-Indian- Dhurna

German- Zechpreuer

French- Seigneur-Terrasse

Malay-Rejam

If anybody endeavours to pursue any of these career opportunities, I wish them all the luck in the world, literally.

 

 

 

 

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From today I give you all of me.

From today I no longer will hold back as I have in the past.

From today I will LOVE you with all that I am.

From today I want to hold you in my arms and in my Heart and not ever let go.

From today I open the doors of my soul and let you in.

From today I will cherish every moment I have with you.

From today I give you the woman that I am.

From today embrace you LOVE.

From today I close the doors of sadness and loneliness and;

I open the doors of joy and companionship.

From today I give you ME.

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Forbidden Love

Author: Becky Garcia

How do I describe this feeling
Pure ecstasy, blissful, serene
The experience of floating away
Away to another plain with you
Far away where we are alone
Just the two of us in paradise.

Giving so much, one to another
Away from what keeps us apart
Where we can become as one
Holding on to our beautiful dream
The two of us forsaking all others.

Together, wrapped in our love
Swaying with the rhythm of life
Grasping what we can't have
Pretending that it's ours alone
No bother from outside forces.

Alone, just you and I forever more
But in reality, we must come back
Back to our senses and realization
Back to a world we wish to escape
Awakened to the truth of what's right
What's wrong and what is not ours.

 

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