Today my blog is gonna be different in comparison to the usual stuff I post. I'm not sure if I'm being unusaully sensitive or just seeking understanding. To hear that you're not the only person feeling something or that you're not hopelessy insane for feeling that way has a rather good effect on your ego (if you know what i mean).

So I have this friend who is like totally my other half, inseperable used to be an understatement for us... Things have changed though... A couple of weeks ago we started fighting over the most moronic things ( I mean seriously stupid stuff)...

It didn't bother me really because in every relationship where 2 people share as much as we did fights are bound to occur. But then the heart breaking tragedy of my seemingly pathetic life happened.... My friend gave upi faith in a friendship that meant no still means more than life to me... My backbone, my strength, the voice inside my head and out is gone... Desserted and left with no closure.... Why???

 What have I done that was so terrible to suffer a loss this great... Why does everybody keep saying it'll be ok when clearly I don't feel ok.... Why do people choose the most vulnerable times (and of course the time when you're the most irrational person) to try and give you advise?? Do they think what they say before they decide that they're trained proffesionals in the psychological field??

Why would anybody think that i would see reason when they probably haven't shared half of what we have together??

Why do i wanna claw my eyes out? Am i trying to stop the tears or am I trying to divert the pain in my heart?

I don't have the answers, but maybe someone out there does...

Do I really wanna know the answers though?

All I know  and am positive of is that I miss my dear friend and life seems unbearable... Reality has taken it's toll... DO I LOVE MY FRIEND MORE THAN I HAVE CHOSEN TO BELIEVE?!?

Somebody, anybody, pwwweeeeeeeeeeesssssss HELP...